


The Big Picture

by Fandom_girl21



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiny, Fluff, M/M, bible reference, book of Enoch reference, otp, soul mates, star crossed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-20 23:41:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6030154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_girl21/pseuds/Fandom_girl21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They've been playing cat and mouse for decades now. What happens when John finally might have something that could kill the demon once an for all?</p><p>Or, John knew about The Big Picture long before his boys did. Let's just say he wasn't much of a fan either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Big Picture

John was on his knees praying, the enochian words falling off his tongue akwardly. He had finally found a way to kill the Demon. An angel of all things. He probably shouldn't be so surprised that if Hell was real so was Heaven. So now John waited on his knees to see if an angel would answer him.

"John Winchester."

John opened his eyes to see an African American man stare down at him. 

He could feel it's power as it appraised him.

"What do you want?"

John slowly got up.

"You're Raphael right? You're the angel Mary used to pray to."

He had decided on Raphael since that had been Mary's favorite. She would pray to him every night before they would go to bed.

"I'm well aware she used to pray to me. That doesn't tell me what you want. I don't like my time wasted."

John could almost taste the charge in the air. He swallowed.

"I want you to kill the demon."

It raised an eyebrow, an almost smile gracing its lips.

"There are many demons on the earthly plane. Be specific."

John almost retorted that it should know which one, but he held his tongue.

"Yellow Eyes."

"No."

John's hands clenched. Screw politeness.

"Why not. You're all suppose to protect us, I shouldn't have to call you to do your job."

Lightning flashed outside, neither of them asked why.

"I would watch your tone John, I am not someone you want as an enemy. And my job is to keep Heaven in control, to keep my brothers and sisters safe. You are all have fallen by your own folly, I suggest you get used to it."

John shook his head, he refused to accept that. That was an excuse, eloquently worded sure, but still an excuse. He didn't come this far to be rejected, he was owed more than this.

"Fine, if you won't do it, then tell me how to kill it."

Raphael gave him another almost smile, his eyes holding only contempt.

"No."

"You owe me this, you all owe me this. I deserve better than this!"

Thunder accompanied lightning now. John smirked, he must be doing something right if he was able to rile the angel up this easily.

"I nor heaven owe you anything John Winchester. What makes you so special that you think you deserve the special attention of heaven? Of an archangel?"

"The special children, they can't be an accident. Yellow Eyes is planning something, something big. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think Heaven wants more demons."

"Don't presume to know what Heaven wants. This is bigger than you."

The slow clapping startled them both. They turned to see a man smiling at them.

Yellow eyes blinked at him for a second, next to be replaced with pale blue.

"John, I knew you were determined. I knew you wanted me dead, but I didn't think you would give me a present before then."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

John cocked his gun. The Demon only rolled it's eyes at him. Its eyes watching Raphael behind him.

With a flick of its wrist a ring of fire had encircled Raphael.

Raphael glared at the Demon. Yellow Eyes walked around John smiling.

"Don't think you're leaving that easily angel."

Then much to John's astonishment Yellow Eyes fell to his knees before the angel.

Raphael only raised an eyebrow. John liked to think he at least knew the Demon's personality well enough that he could predict him.

But when it spoke again, he didn't know what to make of it.

"God you're beautiful. If he hadn't been so persuasive I would have been content to just worship you and you alone."

"But you weren't were you? You instead let him lead you to fall Azazel."

"Yes I did. And I didn't think I'd ever see the light again. Feel the warmth, oh how I could bask in this moment."

Raphael rolled it's eyes.

John looked shocked.

Raphael smiled fully at him now, a condescending smile.

"What? Did you're think your little book told you the whole story?"

"But you chained him. You cast him out."

Raphael shook its head.

"I told you, the story is bigger than you. I only did what I had to do. Unless father himself comes tell me to help I will not aid you in his further destruction."

"I didn't think you cared Raphael. I'm flattered."

Said Azazel as it got up, sending the angel a wolffish smile.

"You know I do. You know if I could have found a way, any way to save you I would have."

Azazel let a bitter laugh. He glared at the angel, not at all scared of its power, as John presumed it should be.

"There was a way, you just wouldn't take it."

"I will never fall."

"And what has that gotten you? Lucifer was cast aside, Gabriel had fled from what I heard. Don't tell me Michael makes up for all that. Makes up for all we had."

Raphael shook his head, tears falling down his face.

"Michael is broken Luv."

"It is not your job to fix him."

"If I don't who will?"

Azazel's eyes suddenly lost any anger, any contempt, he almost looked wounded. 

He walked closer, stopped at the fires edge.

Its voice was soft now, it was the most sincere John had ever heard it be.

"And what of you my Love? Who will healer the healer? Who will save Father's most perfect angel?"

John hated the sympathy that shot through him.

Raphael shook its head.

"I am not perfect."

"You are to me. You always were to me. If anything they all were in your shadow."

Raphael inhaled a shuddering breath. He took a step back.

He whispered now, but nothing stopped John from hearing it.

"Az, stop. Please don't do this. I can only take so much. How can I be perfect when all I want to do is take you and run? How can I be perfect when I turned my back on him when I chained you?"

Azazel was smiling at him now. It was the smile Mary would give when he was being especially ridiculous. As if she couldn't believe he actually accepted what he was saying. 

It was making him head spin, he held onto the wall.

"You're perfect because of all that. My dear, don't you see that I'm in your exact position? Michael would strike me down if I repented. Lucifer would rather have you tortured than save you. We are surviving. We don't have a choice. We never did."

Raphael shook his head, 

"I don't want to survive. I want to live, I want to be happy again."

Azazel sent the angel another loving smile. It was so out of place that John wasn't sure if he should laugh or sob. If he couldn't rely on Heaven, who could he rely on?

"So do I. I want to be free, I want to hold you again, I want to spend eternity with you. But we have work to do, when it ends, when there is a winner come to me. Regardless of who, I will come to you. Will you, will you come to me if he wins?"

Raphael didn't answer, his gaze going to the world outside. Glass shattered as rain poured in. None of them moved, they all knew something was going to change regardless of Raphael's answer.

As the fire was doused, Raphael flicked its hand, the rain immediately dissipating. 

John watched in morbid fascination as Azazel let Raphael come closer. Raphael gave the demon a loving smile. The way they looked each other was so intimate, John had a half a mind to turn away.

"I will come. Regardless of the outcome, I will come. It's you I will be surviving for."

"And I you." Azazel murmured back, its head tipped back. He sounded almost reverent.

After a beat they pulled each other close, their lips brushing. Azazel sighed and made a move to pull away. Seemingly resigning itself to the angel having to leave.

Raphael turned its face back, kissing its lips, Azazel tipped its head back, letting Raphael deepen the kiss.

Slowly they pulled away. 

Finally Raphael stepped fully out of the Demon's arms.

"I love you angel."

Azazel whispered.

Raphael laughed softly.

"And I love you My Sunshine."

Raphael spared John one last disparaging glance and was gone.

Neither of them moved. Finally Azazel sighed, his eyes snapping back to meet John's.

His toying smile was back, but now John could see it. The longing, the broken edges of it inside. Oddly, that gave John a measure of respect for it. He still loathed it, but he could slowly start to see the big picture.

"So who are you trying to destroy?"

Azazel's smile slipped. But it answered anyway,

"The one who caused all of this. Who broke us apart - God. But since it's God I've settled with Michael by proxy."

Azazel turned to leave. John had one more question for it.

"Why?"

Azazel turned, and John almost recoiled. He'd seen hate, he'd seen loathing, but he'd never seen someone look at him with so much uncontrolled rage and disgust as Azazel looked at him now.

"Why? That's the question isn't it. You all fell, you disobeyed but you get it all. You are allowed to love whomever you want. Why? Why do we have to suffer while you all get to have something you haven't earned? Tell me John do you know why? Can you tell me why you deserve something I don't? Something angels don't. We who are his children, his soldiers, we who fight in his name can't even love. How is that fair?"

John swallowed, he had asked himself questions in that vein before. Why were others allowed happiness when his was taken away? He didn't know why, but he told Azazel the same conclusion that had gotten him through that phase.

"Maybe because you are all supposed to be stronger in spite of it. Maybe you weren't allowed because it is a curse. Look what love has done to me, to my family."

Azazel tilted its head, the fire fading a little.

"Maybe your right. But I also know that love has gotten you farther than you would have gotten without it. I know love might have destroyed you, but can you honestly tell me that you regret it? Regret how your life and your boys have turned out?"

He wanted to say yes. That yes of course he hated how his sons hadn't grown up in a stable home, grown up without his love. But honestly? 

"Honesty, no. I don't regret it. I don't regret how it all turned out. I see these suburban fathers and all I can think is thank God I'm not one of them. Now don't get me wrong I hate you. But you gave my life a purpose. Because of evil bastards like you I have a mission. A mission that sometimes makes the pain worth it."

Azazel gave him a knowing smile and a wink. 

"Well till next time John Winchester. Good luck."

Something in John made him respond, he had stopped questioning anything today when he saw Azazel fall to his knees at Raphael's feet.

"Good luck with uh, Michael."

Azazel flashed him another wicked grin and vanished.


End file.
